It is no longer news that former Miss Nigeria, Chief Adenike Oshinowo
is now a mother of twins (a boy and a girl) via surrogacy has been
battling endometriosis.
The twins are Nike’s biological children but was carried and birthed by another woman as a surrogate.
My sources also tell me that the 47-year-old enterpreneur also bought sperm that fertilized her egg from a sperm bank in the US.
Last week, she talked about her long term association with the
disease (endometriosis is a disorder that occurs when the endometrium
cells lining the uterus grow in other areas of the body, causing
excruciating pain).
Medical experts identify endometriosis as a significant factor in
unexplained female infertility, chronic pelvic pain, and other
gynaecological problems.
Read excerpts from her interview with the Vanguard below: -
I have lived with endometriosis since the age of 13. I was sent to
boarding school in England when I was seven. I went to prep school. It
was during the first few days in secondary school that I began my
periods (menstrual). They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized
for 10 days because the pain started and wouldn’t stop.
I thought I was going to die, the first two days, I was in the infirmary
with the matron and she kept saying, ‘O Adenike! We understand that you
miss home, we understand that it’s a rite of passage, we understand it
is difficult for you, we understand that every girl must go through it,
but just bear it’.
I’m telling this story because it happened in England and, supposedly,
the white people, who knew best, yet had no idea what was wrong with me.
Every female student they had dealt with had had a normal period and
coped with it, so they could not understand why I was dramatising. They
thought I just wanted attention. The pain was so intense I passed out.
They called the ambulance and I was hospitalised. The challenge was now
to get me to stop bleeding.
Challenge
Living with endometriosis is a challenge. When you see your doctor,
your doctor just tries to treat the symptoms and assumes the pain
revolves around your menstrual cycle. But this is not so. This pain
affects every single aspect of your life.
I, as Nike Oshinowo, have never had an examination without my period,
I have never traveled without my period. There are so many things I
have never done without my period. When I am very happy my period comes.
When I’m depressed, my period is there. I learned to just cope with it.
I love the quote that women wear their pain like stilettos. That is what I have been doing.
At 40
Until I turned 40, Nigerians didn’t know I suffered from
endometriosis .When I turned 40, I granted an interview and Nigerians
understood why I never drank alcohol. You cannot be on medication and
take alcohol. It was finally understood why I was so clean cut and into
healthy living.
At last it was understood why if I come to your party, at 8pm I had
to go home to bed and to take my pain killers; because when you live
with endometriosis, you live with pain. I have a library in my home. It
is a library about pain. I have so many books on pain cure.
Ignorance
It is extraordinary the effect that endometriosis has on your life
especially if you are ignorant. Ignorance is of two types – knowingly or
unknowingly. My mother, unknowingly, was ignorant, because nobody had
educated her about endometriosis.
She had two daughters, one didn’t suffer every month, the other did,
but my mother didn’t bother about it. She just figured the one that
suffered would grow out of it, especially since the doctors just
recommended pain killers.
Pain
I talk about this pain, now, so that mothers, when their young
daughters are starting their periods for the first time, and it is
traumatic, they will go and sit with the doctors, ask questions and have
it checked out.
Mine was left so late in life in spite of the fact that I grew up in
England. It was frightening. I wish I had someone to blame, I wish I
could blame the doctors. I have had so many surgeries I have lost count.
I remember when Michael Jackson died and they talked about a drug he
had been taking and I exclaimed –’ oh yes, I have taken that drug!’ You
try everything to make the pain go away, so all I know is that I would
not want a child of mine to suffer endometriosis. No. The only way to
make sure that does not happen is to educate as many as I can.
Understanding
Everyone understands what cancer is. People know how to check for
bosom cancer, and are aware that, for cervical cancer, you do a pap
smear. But endometriosis is not that easy. There are symptoms mothers
and fathers, nurses and aunts and other caregivers can watch out for so
that there would be no needless suffering like I had. I am living with
endometriosis. I was born with it and there is no cure. Hopefully by the
time I have menopause it will be better because once you stop
menstruating, everything is over. Hopefully!
Have a baby
One ignorant doctor told me to try to have a baby because once you
have a baby, the pain would all go away. I thought to myself that if I
had a gun I would have shot that doctor, and I would have been locked
away and there would be no one to give me pain killers. The reason for
that relief generally is that when you are pregnant, you don’t have
periods and a long gap of not menstruating actually abates the symptoms
of endometriosis.
Challenge
But the challenge is the pregnancy.How do I get pregnant to get to
that stage? It was wonderful meeting Dr. Abayomi Ajayi (of Nordica
Fertility Centre, Lagos), who is so passionate and knows so much about
the disease, in spite of the fact that he is a man and he is so willing
to share his knowledge. Whatever I can do to stop a girl of 12, 13 or 14
not to suffer the pain of endometriosis, until she experiences
menopause, I am willing to do. I’m working for endometriosis.
Menopause
I’m 47, and I’m looking forward to menopause. Menopause is slowly
creeping up on me. People like us look forward to it because it gives us
a breather. I have finally learned how to cope with the pain, how to
live with endometriosis, and to manage the disease. It takes up a huge
amount of my time and life. One pastor once said to me that I have to
reject it.
He told me not to say “my endometriosis” but to refer to it just as a
disease because it is, really, a disease. He said I must reject it.
Well, I rejected it, but it didn’t go away. It is still here and I’m
learning to cope with it. I hope those coming after me won’t have to
cope the way I am. I expect they will have more relief because they
would have been educated.
Symptoms
The number one symptom is severe pain, pain that you cannot imagine.
That pain during periods is known as dysmenorrhea. A lot of people
confuse dysmenorrhea with endometriosis. Dysmenorrhea could be a symptom
of lots of things, but anyone experiencing painful periods should see a
doctor.
Unfortunately, endometriosis cannot be diagnosed without putting you to
sleep and doing a laparoscopy to see what is going on. There are many
well equipped clinics around and it is easy to diagnose because our
doctors are so well versed in laparotomy. It is not normal to have pain
during periods.
Why me?
There is this thing about endometriosis, that it is a disease not
truly understood because we haven’t done enough research. Where does it
come from? How you get it is still not thoroughly understood because
enough awareness has not been created. Unlike HIV/AIDS and cancer, a few
years ago, there was no hope for a cure but now there is more awareness
and people do not die of these disorders as before. But it is not the
same about endometriosis.
This makes me wonder. Is it because it is a female thing? Is it
because I’m a woman, considered a 2nd class citizen in the world? Must I
suffer because I’m a woman? You wonder and ponder over these things. I
need answers to these questions. Why do I have it and my sister doesn’t?
Is it hereditary? Someone should tell me. If I give birth to a girl,
would she have endometriosis? This is why we need
serious awareness.
My sister doesn’t have this disorder. My mother doesn’t have it, but
then, I look at my mother’s siblings and I discovered I have a sister
that doesn’t have a child. I wonder if she suffered from endometriosis. I
have a distant male cousin that doesn’t have a child. Does it also
affect boys? There are so many unanswered questions. If I lock you up in
a room for a month, you won’t finish answering my questions. I have so
many questions. We live in a country in which we believe in symptoms
more than the causes.
No to séx
Women with endometriosis do not want to have séx because it’s
painful. It is very, very painful. So you do not want to have
intercourse once and it is painful, you’ll not want to go there. It’s
not something you are going to look forward to. I have read books on
this. And even when you try to forget the fact that you do not want to,
half the time you are bleeding. You are either bleeding, or you do not
want.
So, on the average, my friends’ periods last about 5 days, mine, if
I’m lucky, lasts 7-10 days and if I’m super, duper lucky, lasts less
than seven days; if I have eaten what I should, and exercised
constantly, it’s not so bad.
Exercise works. If you look at a girl’s menstrual cycle, 26-27 days,
remove the 10 days she’s been menstruating and remove the days she
doesn’t want, when she has pre-menstrual tension.
When every part of you is sore, on those days, you are not going to
want, and even on the remaining five or so days that you are ‘OK, you
are not going to want to have intercourse because it is going to be
painful. You just don’t want to. So you cannot have a proper
relationship with a man.
Pain: Between menses and endometriosis
Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference, that is why it is
necessary to do tests. If all these symptoms are on, it is not the one
you take analgesics.
The pain from intercourse occurs when there is the presence of
endometrium. If diagnosed early and you interrupt the sequence, other
things may not follow, can advise appropriately, infertility may follow,
or told to have baby quickly, donor, or give appropriate advise.
See the doctor
If you have a daughter with pain, she would talk because she would
think she is dying. I thought I was dying because I was ignorant. Go
with her to see a doctor when there is pain. There are different tests.
Doctors test with their hands, then they use the scan. I did that. The
important thing is that when something goes wrong, pain is not normal,
something is wrong, not to decide what to do, but, as a good mother, you
take her to the hospital.
Breaking the silence
Endometriosis is as old as day but women do not talk, because they
are embarrassed to talk about anything down there. What a woman is going
to tell you is that she doesn’t like to sleep with her husband? To get a
woman to start talking to you about her periods, even that will make
you to be seen as a loudmouth. Even talking about her periods, it is not
easy to get a woman to start talking about it. But doctors are able to
pick it up because they are infertile.
Women are expected to have children in these parts and, if they are
incapable of that, they have to find out why. Then they go to the doctor
who traces it to endometriosis. Ultimately infertility would arise and
they have to go to a fertility doctor.
Face of endometriosis
The face of endometriosis isn’t particularly glamorous. Even me, with
my independent view, my laid-back attitude, it’s not easy. When I
thought about it, I have a mother and family. I know what happened when I
turned 40 and I talked about my endometriosis. I got thinking and I
almost put it off. But I said no, this is time for action, we can’t keep
postponing it. If they had postponed the research and awareness
campaigns into HIV/AIDS or cancer, there wouldn’t have been the
breakthroughs we have today.
Knowledge is power, information is king
How do you get people to talk? It is awareness, awareness, awareness.
The more I talk about it, no matter how embarrassing the more awareness
I’m creating. Talking about it is embarrassing; I’m not immune to
embarrassment, by the way. Before coming here, I took my shame, locked
it up and put the key in my bag and said I would face you and tell the
truth the way it is.
Endometriosis, a disease
A disease is something that is not supposed to be there, and that is
what endometriosis is. You are not supposed to have endometrial tissue
in your abdomen. Surgery removes it, but the moment you menstruate, the
pain comes back.
My understanding is that I have a uterus, every woman does. Something
lines it. Just like when you want to bake, you line your pan with
baking paper.
That baking paper or lining is the endomentrial tissues. But mine
isn’t just confined to my uterus. It’s in my fallopian tube, it’s
everywhere. Everywhere this tissue is, when you menstruate, that tissue
will be doing the same thing. And you feel pain. Anywhere that tissue
is, it behaves as if it is in the uterus.
The purpose of menstruation is to shed the lining and come out. I
know someone who has endometrial tissue in her gut. Even in the brain.
When you menstruate, it also menstruates and you feel pain there.
Menstruation is made to shed and come out.
I have traced it back to the Old Testament. The woman that wouldn’t stop
bleeding and you wonder why? So it has been since the beginning.
